I positively love breakfast. It’s a great menu choice at any time of the day. Except breakfast, actually. In the morning, I’m all about fruit. And coffee. I can’t live without coffee, but all y’all already know that. Anyhoo… I do a Banana-Blueberry-Strawberry smoothie most mornings (with some honey and cinnamon), and often have grapes, melon, or other fruit as well. Then, if I start to feel hungry before about noon, I’ll have another banana. But come lunch, I’m all about breakfast! In fact, most weekdays, my room mate and I have scrambled eggs and sausage for lunch/brunch/first-real-meal. I vary the seasonings in the eggs, but it’s a fairly standard thing. Other options have included French Toast, omelettes, pancakes (and I mean pan cakes – big ol’ 12-inch you-only-need-one rib-stickin’ cakes that fill the entire plate) and the occasional strata.
Let me also point out that breakfast is an excellent option for dinner. Normally, you’re done for the day, so it doesn’t matter if you fill up on stuff that’s going to take time – and a LOT of energy – to digest. That whole lethargic, I-don’t-want-to-do-anything-but-watch-TV feeling, so you waddle to the couch, plop yourself down and the only exercise you get is thumbing the remote. The only difference between breakfast at dinner and breakfast at any other time is that you might have more items on your plate(s). Especially in the South, it’s not unusual to see pancakes, hash browns, grits and biscuits (w/ gravy, of course) in front of a single person. And I can’t count the times I’ve had both bacon and sausage… or a steak plus bacon at dinfast… er, breakfast at dinner.
Another great time for breakfast is for late-night snacks. You know those times when it’s an hour past bed time but you’re still up watching reruns. You want something, but your conscious is telling you the brownie sundae with extra nuts and chocolate sauce isn’t the healthiest option. Scramble an egg and burn a piece of bread. Craving satisfied; now, go to sleep.
More important than all of those rolled into on is breakfast in the middle of the night. It is unarguably the only option for food at Stupid:30, whether you’re up at that ungodly hour because you haven’t gone to sleep yet, or had to get up far too early for some silly reason like work or some such. I mostly see this time of night/morning from the night side, after a gig, either before or after a drive. But I have seen it from the morning side when it took dunking my head in a bucket of ice water to wake up. Only then could coffee work it’s magic. Never mind. It’s not important how you got here… sitting on that stool at the counter of some greasy spoon – the greasier, the better, imho – or in the booth with the split vinyl held together with the wrong color of duct tape. (OK, fine. DUCK tape.) Again, never mind. It doesn’t matter. You’re there, and it’s time for breakfast.
The cook looks big enough to fill the entire front seat of a VW bug and sweats through an everlasting 6 days of facial scruff. He – or she – is chewing on the stub of a stogie… probably the same one they’ve chewed all year. They never light it, except on every other break; they only puff it twice, then put it out. It’s just to keep it smelling as bad as possible at all times. They also look like they could kick your sorry self well into next week should you order anything but breakfast, so just don’t do it.
I’m serious about this. At that time of night/morning, don’t order anything but breakfast. Ever. Or pie. Pie is an acceptable substitute. Because pie is also good anytime. Even for breakfast. (Damn the fruit! It’s chocolate, and that comes from a plant and that makes it healthy! And pass me the coffee!) But ordering anything other than breakfast or pie in the middle of the night in a diner is downright unAmerican. There are some places where the cops will question you for the simple act of ordering a hamburger at 2AM. God forbid you should ask for soup! Do I need to tell you the trouble you can get into in a good, greasy Blues diner for ordering soup that time of day? Good Lord! And that’s in addition to losing like a thousand and twelve Cool Points, plus six minutes in the penalty box and a loss of down. And a free kick, a base on balls and two freethrows. (I’m covering them all.)
So don’t do it. Just order the breakfast. And have a slice of pie afterwards for good measure. Chocolate if they have it. Banana cream, apple or pumpkin are all somewhat acceptable replacements. Want a steak? Get it with fried eggs and hash browns. In fact, whatever meat you want, have it with eggs and hash browns. Or pancakes, or waffles, or grits, or biscuits. If you’re all bleary eyed and have a case of the munchies roughly the size of New Hampshire, get them all. But for the love of all that’s wonderful about food, order breakfast!
Once you’ve placed your order, sit an enjoy your battery acid/coffee. Flirt with the waitress if she’s within a decade or two of your age. (Ladies, flirt with the bass player in the next booth; it might be me!) Keep an eye on the cook to ensure the ash from the cigar doesn’t fall into your eggs. (No, that’s pepper. Really.) Then, when that big platter of steaming hot, sizzling goodness, remember just one more thing:
Play with your food!
Check out my Breakfast Recipes here.
Do you lov ebreakfast as much as I do? What are your favorite breakfast options? When do you eat breakfast? Leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts! (And don’t forget to LIKE this post!) Share it using the tiles below.